A day spent in plenty of thought , so my father is going to be 76 years old tomorrow the 5th , but I am not sure if I should have ,sent some birthday wishes . I have so many mixed emotions , just recently , he pointedly told me , do not share your blogs on my Facebook page . I was very shocked , because family support each other and Facebook is all about sharing ! I would rarely share my blogs on his page , only if it had a suitable subject , something religious or significant , would I do it . And which parent wouldn't like to support their child . So I was very hurt , and have not said anything to him since . As he gets older , on his own in a far away country ( my mum passed away in 2008 ) I wonder how is he coping , all on his own with no family . Is it something he has to go through ??
My thoughts go back many , many years when I was a young girl barely into my 20's and I married and moved far away from my Mum and Dad , from the only secure home I knew . Yes I met and married a man in 9 days . What was I thinking ?? Now as a mother with two daughters , I would never let them do that . How could my parents have , let me ?? They would argue , she was an adult and we could not stop her . Why did I want to marry ?? Okay so I was physically attracted to him , but that is no reason to marry ..Nobody marries a man they want to sleep with ! No my parents were very , very strict people and I had no liberties so I was beginning to resent the boundaries of the house . It was my break for freedom , with a much older man , close to 20 years (phew !) No I was not happily married .. How could I be , with an older bossy man who thought he could control this young woman . He beat me , kept me under his thumb , dominated me , I was literally his slave . And I phoned home , 3/4 times a week crying to my parents , I was so unhappy , my marriage was a nightmare , but they never ever , told me leave him come back home , you are always welcome here . You are young , with only one child , you can find another man , you are so attractive ! No they seemed to be happy , they had no responsibility for me . Told me to cope , suck it up and bare it . Now with two daughters , I could not dream , about any of my daughters ever being mistreated , I would call them home immediately , it breaks my heart my parents were so harsh . Is it a price , my father now , has to pay ,in his old age , alone ?? My Mum is dead and I wish him many , many more years Happy Birthday Dad !!
I Have after 18 years of being bullied ,in the Netherlands , with my Dutch Husband , moved to the UK the land of my ancestors and freedom .. I am a free woman , with independence , my own money for the first time , doing everything for myself and my children ..so , so happy , without my father's help or my wicked brother's help . Proud of myself !!
Bet my dad has many , many more years to live with himself . The most ridiculous thing is he proclaims to be religious , but I have not seen any charity from him, nor did I see him ,make sure I marry in a Church . Being Catholic , I find it a sin I didn't do that . Married in the register and had three kids . Maybe that's where everything went wrong , lol !! One day maybe I shall marry in Church !!
Anyways Happy 76 th birthday Dad , I still Miss You and think about you everyday :)
It's just a personal blog , but it does have a few points to be taken from it , love your kids , if they have troubles always call them home and make them welcome . Who knows maybe , my dad might have had me and the grand kids around him if he was not so selfish !!
Have a good day , My eyes are filled with tears and I can hardly write more . Have a good day and keep smiling , make a difference in this world and God will bless you ..hugs xx
#Love & Peace
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