Hello from a cold , rainy , windy and very stormy England . I am sipping my hot chocolate and keeping warm . Rain always perks me up , I just love it ,when the heavens open and we are showered with rain . Rain is essential for crops , nature and time to get cosy indoors . Snow might be upon us and sleet & hail but all that means Christmas is getting near . Wrap up warm and Remember somebody loves you , drive safe !
Okay so I'm not blogging to talk about the weather ,in most European countries , the conversion opener has to be about the weather . Everyone is most comfortable talking weather and since it affects us, that's the easiest convo. to bond over !!
Today I want to talk about marriage , virginity and reality . Once again I heard on the news, more talk about marriage , but this time relating to same sex marriage ! I have always wondered about this talked about subject , No not same sex marriage , just marriage in general . Why do people feel so obligated to marry ? I can understand when a person's very religious , they might feel the need . But with more and more people embracing Atheism why is marriage so necessary ? I remember Brad Pitt , George Clooney so against the idea of marriage , but they caved in !! It was the pressure of the kids in Brad/ Angelina's case and society in George's . Oh maybe it was his vast fortune that he was considering . Wealth can make people tie the knot to keep their assets safe . Divorce is immanent and nobody wants to end up in the divorce courts with half their wealth going to somebody they now hate ,lol ..
Marriage , is just a piece of paper . It does not actually state on it I promise I'm going to stay with you forever . Why would anyone want to do that ? Especially as a divorce then can cost alot of money . When your in the middle class bracket it can work out expensive . I would rather two people decided to love each other unconditionally , always work hard at the relationship and build a happy home as equals without the burden of marriage . If you feel the blinding need to have a white dress and a party to show your together , just do that , without something legally binding . People who marry in today's society have a very high divorce rate , something like 70 % . This mostly comes around when 2 people don't have anything, anymore in common as they grow older and fail to want to work things out , so they divorce and look for somebody else to meet their needs . I think gay people who are looking to get married , simply want marriage because it exists and they want to be part of it . I 100% support their need . If others are allowed to marry why not them ? Every partnership is sacred and who is society to look down on anyone . A choice of partner male /female is only for an individual to decide who they want to be with . I love every kind of person , because they are a person first and most important . Marriage is a society invented thing in the old days . Nowadays things have become so modern , does anybody know anything anymore about the old days ??
Marriage and Virginity generally also went together in the old days , but that was mostly in certain cultures practiced . People all over western society after the 60's had a more liberal view . So why do some people , still want to pretend they were a virgin when they tied the knot , when they were not ? Surely people are not bluffing their partners wherever they are in the world , to a false fact . Why is it so important to be a virgin , it baffles me . If they decided to sleep with someone , it had to be because they really wanted to , because they had deep feelings for that person . Girls don't take sleeping with anyone lightly , so why would you want to deny the person existed ? But saying that ,people like that exist ! Fact !! I fell out with a relative because of such an issue . It all started when I had separated with the father of my children and separations are not easy , so there was a lot of bad feelings and hurt and anger on both our parts, so ofcourse when my dear cousin who was fond of my husband said one Easter ,do give my Easter greetings to him . Now why on earth would you tell me to do that , because I am upset with him , angry he's hurt me , I'm putting him in the past and moving on .. So I told her just that , please don't ever ask me to pass on wishes , do it yourself ... I don't ask you to give Easter wishes to so and so an old B/F of her's . Oh she said that's different he was a B/F , this was your partner !! Really I said , I don't see a difference you had a relationship with this person for a couple of years you slept with him , it's the same thing .. She suddenly became so enraged slept with him ??? What are you talking about ... You are a gossip , you spread lies about me ??? I was stunned !!!! Just the thought that I brought up sleeping with someone got her seething !! Was she afraid , I would slip up in front of her husband ?? Did she fool her husband she was a Virgin ?? So I lost my cousin's friendship that day !!She doesn't want to know me ,Virginity was very important to her apparently . No I've never mentioned this about her to anyone ,she was acting so guilty , I didn't know what to think . I was Gobsmacked !! Except that Virginity apparently is important to men who marry women . Hmm in some instances society is still in the dark ages .
Saying all that No I was not a Virgin when I married , and when my husband, to be asked me after he proposed and I accepted . I told him the truth , No I'm not and Why are you asking ? Is it important and he told me it was not important . Well at least that was a tick in his credit !!!
Okay time to stop writing ,and get ready to go pick my kids up from school .
Enjoy your evening and think less about lying , and leading a more truthful life ... Maybe blessings will come your way !!
Bye for now and be good don't do anything I wouldn't do :)
# peace & love .
Greetings Sabrina. I write because (a) I am interested in you as a person who once sat in my classes, and (b) because of your subject in today's blog. When you speak of love and true freedom and trust, I find myself in full agreement. But even though I am not married, I cannot agree fully with some of the things you say on that subject. By a strange coincidence, I am studying [Catholic] marriage these days as outlined in the Code of Canon Law. It is fascinating how Mother Church is really concerned for the couple when she makes all those laws. About marriage she says: (i) it is forever - for better or for worse (ii) it for the well-being of the couple (iii) it is for the procreation of children. Marriage is a dim shadow of the loveliest of all relationships - that between God and people. With God it is forever - though we often opt out of the covenant. God's other name is Fidelity. When it comes to the Divine, we make poor marriage partners - but God goes on being faithful. When human marriages are modeled on our Covenant with God, then they become beautiful and inspiring. Again, you imply that virginity is not important. Actually, there are two levels of virginity - the physical and the spiritual (of the heart). The physical is less important. When a couple choose to marry, they offer themselves to each other, as they are right here and right now. The past is left to God. I think it is small-minded for a boy to ask for medical proof of virginity, when the girl cannot ask for the same thing from him. True love is not concerned about the state a girl's hymen. True love is about the state of each heart and the level of commitment to the shared future. The Church requires life-long fidelity, for the sake of the couple but more for the sake of the children. They need some one to say 'Mummy', 'Daddy' to. I am of course speaking ideals. I have never lived with an abusive, cruel partner - or any partner for that matter. God is the first to understand how women suffer in today's world because of marriages gone wrong. But it is good to keep the ideal in view. Marriages make us like God - and being like God is no easy challenge.
ReplyDeleteThank you very much Kevin for taking the time to write , I appreciate your point of view , from the religious spectrum and it def . weighs in but generally both parties in a marriage have to feel that way to accomplish the goal of marriage in the eyes of the Church as outlined in the code of Canon Law . My views are most accepting of today"s society and it filled me with great joy when our Pope Francis recently married a number of people who have been co-habiting , one already a mother and others who have been previously married .The Pope calls for more "integration"of divorced Catholics and gays . It's a sign our holy father is moving forward with modern society as I have too :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for your thanks, Sabrina. Modern society is moving for sure, but not always in the right direction. Canon Law makes generous provision for rectification of marriages which were live-in. Often the cost of a 'proper' wedding forces people to opt for the cheaper 'live-in' variety. I have seen it many times in Ireland. And in the northeast where i work most of the time in India, it is the 'norm'. When rectification happens, the children will be present for their parents' Church wedding. I love being part of all that holy, pastoral drama. What Pope Francis is really challenging us to do is to avoid branding people because of their choices and preferences. He clearly speaks God's language. Keep writing, Sabrina.
DeleteAaww thanks :) Yes Society is moving forward in leaps and bounds , where it is actually headed sometimes scares me !! But at the pace it's taking sometimes just the issue of marriage , virginity is the least of our troubles there are much bigger matters looming ! Our whole world needs a new coming of Jesus to educate us to peaceful way of thinking. I think Revelations "The Rider on the white horse " is not far off the horizon . And I am off to bed !
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